Happy Holidays or Merry Christmas?

Evangelical Sell-outs If you go into a Wal-Mart this holiday season, you will be greeted with a barrage of "Merry Christmas" signs, banners and other advertisements. You see, somehow it is better in the minds of religious conservatives to use the name of their Lord and Savior to sell $10 T-shirts made by children in poorly-ventilated developing countries than the generic “Happy Holidays.” I truly believe that when Jesus was upon the cross, being tortured and spat upon, he was thinking to himself that it sure would be great if his birthday could be used one day to sell a DVD player. The question shouldn’t be if we are commercializing Christmas, but if evangelicals are commercializing Christ. Christmas is a celebration of the birth of a savior, yet evangelicals are fighting tooth and nail to have “Merry Christmas” plastered above every Extreme Tickle-Me-Elmo and totally awesome new Staind CD. Why in the hell are Christians, who claim to be so passionately devoted to the life and teachings of one man, willing to see his name used to sell everything under the sun? If I were a church-going evangelical, I would be up in arms that Wal-Mart has the audacity to use the most holy name in my religious tradition to make money! Seriously, does anyone believe that this was a moral decision by Wal-Mart or any other mega-retailer? Surely there was some accountant team that crunched the numbers – the amount of free press they would receive, the amount of praise they would receive on Christian radio and TV stations. And someone somewhere said that they would make more money by using the phrase “Merry Christmas” than the phrase “Happy Holidays.” That’s the whole reason for the season for retailers – mammon. And if they can get more of it by exploiting the religious convictions of some people, then why not? Especially if they will be supported by the very people that they are exploiting. For Christians, the name of Christ should be revered and hallowed. Jesus should be spoken about with reverence and humility. And his birth should not be used to line the pockets of CEOs and huge corporations. Religion ought to be intensely personal, to be shared by a person and his or her diety. And I believe firmly that everyone has a right to believe or not believe what they want. So congratulations to all the shrilling evangelicals who pressured retailers to use the phrase “Merry Christmas.” You have succeeded in the further commercialization of Jesus. Season’s greeting and happy holidays to you!

Happy Market-based Greeting The season has come – I mean winter of course – and with it the modern American debate of what exactly goes on during December and early January. Based on the suggestion of American liberals, we are in the midst of the “Holiday Season.” After all, when Wal-mart and many other major retailers returned to the “Merry Christmas” greeting this year, my liberal friends, such as Dan, expressed disappointment that they were caving to the ethno-religio-culturocentric right-wingers who threatened boycotts over the Happy Holidays trend. I, for one, do not care how you greet me when I walk through the door. But what makes me a little upset, is the lack of consistency from the liberals. It amazes me to hear them clamor for freedom of speech for pornographers and terrorists, but when it comes to religious greetings, then everything is offensive. I am convinced that if you own the place, you can have your employees greet people however you want. If you want your employees to say, “Bah-humbug,” or yell “Not another one,” when a paying customer gets in line to checkout, I think that is fine – it is after all, your pocketbook. So, when I, the generally Republican, extremely WASPy, and apparently, according to Dan, anti-choice, hate mongering, speech limiting conservative/libertarian walks through the door into your fair trade, environmentally conscious, Greenpeace loving, anti-Bush, hemp curtain hanging, liberal gift shop this December, you greet me however you want – say “Happy Holidays,” “Happy Hanukkah,” “Happy New Year,” “Happy Kwanzaa,” “Happy Winter Solstice,” or make up your own holiday to celebrate, but please, do not limit the choice of other companies who find “Merry Christmas” to be the best greeting for their stores. And if you choose not to shop at those places, fine, but quit making silly claims about how offensive it is to say “Merry Christmas” to a Jew or an African-American. Clearly, those of us who celebrate this season for the Christmas part of it are not going to, and according to most liberals are not allowed to, be offended when someone greets us with Hanukkah or Kwanzaa. If liberals really want to be culturally sensitive, start campaigns to help Americans learn about other cultural holidays, like Diwali, which is one of the most exciting celebrations in India that just passed us in October. Diwali, the “Festival of Lights,” is greatly anticipated both for its fireworks and deep cultural heritage. Do something constructive rather than expend your energy whining about how offensive it is to hear a religious reference while you are busy shopping to give Christmas presents or Hanukkah presents to your family and friends. No one buys Holiday presents anyway! Finally, if there is one greeting that would inspire me to patronize your shop and pay a premium for your goods, it would be to hear in unison from all your employees, “Happy Festivus, it’s a Festivus for the Rest of Us!”